Putting the Princesses on Trial : A Call for Sanity

Court-ing the Disney Princesses:

a cross-examination

Love them or hate them, you know who they are. And no doubt you have heard rumors(chatter, chatter, chatter): That’s right, Disney has decided to call off any further princess productions! These Aunties are perplexed by this strange announcement from Disney. Why stop making Princess Stories? The creation of “Princess and the Frog”, and “Tangled”, and the afore-mentioned Strange Announcement, have brought about many a discussion of the Princesses between these Aunties. What DO these characteresses mean to little girls? Why are the princess movies not making enough money? Are they losing fans, as Disney claims?

As we began to answer these questions, we realized there was a lot to say about Princesses. In fact, there were so MANY things to say, that Lumi decided to convene a court on the subject. What follows is the trial of three of the Disney Princesses – who were basically picked randomly. We avoid the obvious issues of Pocahontas, Mulan, and ,Tiana because we are mostly white and when white people talk about race related issues they always get alotta bunch of hell that the Aunties are just not interested in. We are here to put the behavior of princesses on trial. Why? Because we understand how important female heroines are in stories for girls. In understanding the importance of girls having their own stories , we also understand the power that a figure in that position, even a cartoon one, has over a young mind. We don’t want politically correct or boring Princesses…We, in fact, are not always sure what we want, except that the Princesses be not only diverse in color but also in personality and interest. There could be, as Wicked says, “…great value in a little snap back to a more realistic presentation of girls and women!” We are exploring the issue of the Princess Stories because they seem fairly, if not totally, single-minded in their plot lines – that is the pursuit of a romance that becomes the defining factor for their entire lives. The Aunties urge you to put away your pistols for a moment because we are not mean old codgers! We are not ,in any way, against romance or romantic story elements! We , instead call for a diversity in the story telling about princesses for girls. As you will see in the following riveting trial transcripts:Judge Jane C. Narrator PresidingJane C: We call this court to order to pursue the case brought by one A.Wicked against Princesses Cinderella, Ariel, and Aurora. Additionally, some few charges will be heard against the Corporation of Disney itself.

The prosecution will be One A. Wicked, who is also bringing these charges, which though unconventional, is understandable considering the grave urgency of these charges. There also seems a lack of lawyers willing to take on a case against some of the worlds most favored characteresses. In the Princesses’ defense, will be one Auntie Illumination… may Wicked have mercy on her glittery soul. We will now hear the opening arguments of the prosecution. Wicked: Ladies and Gentleman, today, you and I will have the chance to right many decades of wrong. Today, we are going to convict Disney’s Princesses of the crimes they have committed. Today, we will begin a new era of movies for kids and role models for young children. With your help, we will begin to unravel the stories these Princesses have told and find within them the crimes which must be righted! Take for instance, one Ms. Cinderella.

Cinderella should be a very smart girl. We girls and boys that have lived in abusive households know that it often causes you to have an old soul before your time. You may not know everything about how to feel, or be independent but functionally you become a wise-man while sweeping up after a demanding, narcissistic, and abusive person, as seen clearly in Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother.

Why then does Cinderella seem to be the dumb, Debbie- Cheerleader type? Cinderella seems to be capable of nothing but hallucinating about talking mice-friends, Singing songs, and Delusional Escapism! I ask you – are we not better than this?Furthermore, Her moments of clear, teenage-like distaste for her work are always overwhelmed by a saccharine sweetness that belies the darkness of which a girl like her would have, given the situation of her mother’s death, then her father’s death and finally her stepmother’s evil-tude. She begs, mewls, and seems to be waiting in gentle, fainting faith that somehow just being good is going to work out for her.It also begins two of the most pet-peevy of my pet peeves in Disney-esqe fairytales : Firstly, the Girl who flat refuses to use her resources to find her own strength (unless you count the strength to weep to a fairy godmother). Secondly, the sub-plot of the aristocrat just waiting around for the right girl to stop being a bored little man. This is equally unfair to boys, as it teaches THEM to find their soul purpose in the perfect, fainting, victim partner.It is with all these thoughts and with great solemnity, that I declare Princess Cinderella, accused of the most heinous crime of Premeditated Stupidity. This can be the only explanation for her sad, thoughtless, Nay! Lifeless portrayal of a young woman. She has hidden the thinking and planning that would motivate and escape from household as cold and cruel as her own. She has presented, deliberately so, an image so irrelevant to girls (especially those in an unfortunate position, let alone a normal one), that this Auntie can barely look upon her without shaking her head in resignation. For these crimes, I ask of you, dear jury, to condemn this Princess to a lengthy alternate story, at the very least.Auntie Illumination of the Defense stands and shouts, “I object”Judge Jane responds, “On what grounds?”Auntie Illumination makes what is known as a ‘Beavis Laugh‘and says, “coffee grounds?” Judge Jane C. Narrator overrules, and motions, after swatting A. Lumination with a rolled newspaper, for the Prosecution to continue.A. Wicked: Where was I? Oh Yes. Ms. Ariel. As with the first Princess’s charges, I believe Ariel’s story falls in with the unintentionally misogynistic teaching that a virgin who desires adventure will fall upon misfortune every time. I have two problems with Ariel personally, first that her natural curiosity is squashed by her father, who is trying keep her a child as long as he possibly can, presumably until he can have her married to someone he picks out. Not only is this a kind-of creepy, “your sexuality-belongs-to-me dynamic”, but it also forces Ariel to explore her curiosity in a way that actually is dubious and dangerous.

The second, and saddest point is that “The Little Mermaid” has the potential to be a learning experience for Adolescent girls, like “Labyrinth”, instead it becomes a story about how if you seek Knowledge, you risk turning into seafoam – that is unless you have the help of a crab and a handsome, boring Prince (who suddenly turns un-stupid just on time to save you!). This is why I, Auntie Wicked, charge you Princess Ariel with Felony Misrepresentation of the ramifications of girls seeking knowledge, freedom, and romance.

Auntie Illumination begins blowing bubbles in the courtroom.Judge Jane C. Narrator reprimands her, and admits the hello kitty bubble set into evidence.Judge Jane C:“Please Continue with your opening arguments Ms. Wicked. But rapidly…clear?”A.Wicked:” Not to worry I am practically done. Ladies and gentleman, do you even remember this last princess? Princess Aurora…you know? of Sleeping Beauty? Aurora, I can’t even rant here. You where so boring I can’t even remember anything but the fact that you had blonde hair, you sang something, and then you sat around like a corpse. Sorry ladies, but the Disneyfied Sleeping Beauty story takes away everything from historical versions of the story, including the adolescent sexual lessons, and true, bittersweet romance. Please consider this prosecutor’s statement to be a desperate question: Why the HELL do you have to be boring, and nearly a corpse to make a good Princess? I think most of us latched on to Maleficent ,because an allegedly evil Sorceress is a 900% improvement on a Princess Character that’s practically a blow-up-doll.In accusatory closing, the conglomerate known as Disney, is also named in this suit.

Disney, where do I start with you? In days and ages where women are demanded more of, I am here, finding this media go-to giant… pushing off these re-hashed sexual morality tales on a world that is only harmed by them. It’s not as though this is a tradition that is being carried on here, lets face it, its flat out a white wash. I understand the need for Princesses, but what I don’t understand is why we need the SAME story over and over again. A wayward teenage girl is refused any right to be an adventuress without the adventure ending in marriage, cutting off her choices of sexual and personal exploration, and/or entrapping a dude. Even worse, these stories are reinforcing the paranoid, ivory-tower, nannified roles that prevent girls, women, boys, and men from becoming confident and successful adults. These stories keep them children, ignoring them as adults, as sexual, and as human beings. A Princess can only become a Queen if her “Hero’s Journey”, leads her to bumble into being married. I ask you, Is this the message we want to send to our little girls?

Furthermore, these ‘good’ Princesses achieve their ‘success’ of marrying a Prince through victimizing themselves to situations. They are powerless to fight Magic, and Fate. They are steamrolled and hurt. In the end, do they even have tools to save themselves? No. They must rely on a Prince at the right moment.

How many grown woman do you think waste YEARS waiting for Daddy, or Prince, or someone externally to save them precisely because of the stories ? What kind of pressure to be some formless shapeless ‘Real Man’ without knowing what the Lady Fair even wants of you? I say fie! Surely there must be a better way.

And with that dearies, I complete my opening speech – do not forget when all the pink tafetta and glitter of Lumi’s words begin to fly, what you have heard here. The Princesses must be convicted and roundly reformed for their very own good, for little girls everywhere and for ours”The Defense, Auntie Lumination, Stands to present her opening argument. She insists we include she is wearing an L.E.D tiarra – though we don’t know what purpose that information will have in the legal record.Auntie Lumination: All that we, the prissy girls of the defense, ask is that the court be lenient on the Princesses, and remember that though each one has fallen into female lead stereotype traps…they have at least popularized the idea of a young female cartoon leads. Sometimes, we have to be thankful for something. As for Disney, I ask that you slam them to the wall – both because of their failure to evolve their presentations of princesses, in keeping step with the continued evolution of ideas surrounding gender expectations for boys and girls alike, as well as for saying they are just going to stop making princess movies. What kind of answer is that I ask you? Oh we are having problems with girls wanting to see princess movies…well that must mean we should totally stop making them? Lumi says nay, Lumi says maybe if Disney modernized it’s princess girls, then, we all, young an old could continue to enjoy new additions to the princess family!Judge C. Narrator: We will now proceed to the questioning of the accused. A. Wicked will begin followed by cross-examination by Aunti Lumination. The jury is instructed to hear out all arguments before coming to a decision on the accused’s crimes.

A. Wicked begins her questioning of the first accused defendant, a one Princess Cinderella. It seems that contrary to the fashion in most courtrooms, that for the questioning part of this trial, the prosecution and defense will take turns interrogating the clients in the same session and then proceed with their closing arguments.A. Wicked’s Question to Cinderella: What’s it like to marry a man you have just met?Cinderella: *whispers to the judge*, “Can she ask me that?”Judge C. Narrator responds:I am afraid so. Please answer the prosecution’s question Madame Cinderella.Cinderella: Awkward. Very awkward.A. Lumination’s Questions to Cinderella: If you had a little girl, which parts of your life would you want her to repeat?

Cinderella : Well, I…I hadn’t thought about it? You see I have lived in suspended time. Unlike our dear Fiona – most us Disney Princesses have never been allowed to go beyond our marriage kiss moment. It would probably be easier for me to answer you in a song?Wicked: Objection, unfair use of sappy songs in a courtroom setting!Judge Jane C. Narrator sustains the objection and the prosecution proceeds to their next question.A. Wicked continues her questioning with Princess Ariel – former mermaid.Wicked: So from the sea to the castle walls…Made any non-ocean ecosystem friends yet?Aeriel: Well…the castle has many visitors and there is my daughter.

A. Lumination: If you could, would you invent a way to go back and forth between the world of your family and friends and your new marriage?Aeriel: Well, I do know this seawitch?Auntie Lumination objects to Aeriel’s response.Judge Jane C. Narrator explains to A. Illumination that one cannot object to their own client’s response.A. Wicked then completes her questioning with the final defendant – Princess Aurora.Princess Aurora : (doesn’t respond – appears to be sleeping.)

A. Lumination objects to questioning a sleeping defendant.Judge Jane C. Narrator, grants the motion and Princess Aurora is carried out of the courtroom in a conveniently available and rose decorated glass coffin. She explaines to the courtroom that “you can never have too many glass coffins around when dealing with Princesses.” She then motioned for A. Wicked to begin her closing arguments.A. Wicked’s closing argument: Frankly, all I can think is that Disney is basically upholding very biblical idioms of Sin, Faith, and Knowledge. Yes I do know, a good chunk of the jury here identifies with the Bible as an idiom, and would check the Christian box on a questionnaire. Never fear, this is no vile attack on your religion. However, in this modern world, full of many cultures, isn’t it time to reconsider the old roles of Womanhood? Woman can lead among the men, work among them, and not just “in there own way.” The balance of power is changing, for instance women are practically OWN marketing, we account for all 85% of all consumer purchases as of the year 2010! In knowing this, it is hard for me to imagine why we seem to need to perpetuate this box for ourselves? I say, we prosecute Disney to the fullest extent of our distaste, and pronounce them guilty of perpetuating negative stereotypes of women, limiting them to archaic and genuinely un-traditional roles of Stupid, Empty Headed Child Women. As for the Princesses, they can save themselves if given the proper tools. Convict them dear jury, for their own damn good.A. Luminations Closing Argument: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself? Four score and no wait a minute. Princesses. Right. We all deserve a time to be young and silly and anyone who wants to be adventurous or girly or romantic should be – and most everyone should try those things at least once. This Auntie, believes strongly that the Princesses must be allowed to go on – not just in our memories but in newer better movies that reflect all the most amazing aspects of women and girls! I beg of you, kind jury and judge, slap Disney’s bottoms and make them act right. Please to pardon the girls with probation and make the promise to do better in the future and become grown up Queens that any girl would be proud to turn into!Judge Jane C. Narrator: The Jury will now meet. Please remember, ladies and gentleman of the jury, you hold the fate of a most beloved institution and some of their most famous players in your hands. Deliberate carefully and equitably.After four sleepless nights, where the jury subjected themselves to endless Princess movie marathons. They finally came to an agreement.

Head Juror: We the Jury, find the princesses and Disney guilty of selling girls and women short on all counts. The head juror hands Judge Jane C. Narrator the verdicts and she reads the juries sentencing:Ariel – We sentence you to a Summer backpacking in Europe. We are sure your rich Daddy can afford it. We insist you try more surface world foods and activities before settling into married royal life. You will also be sent to Belle’s castle to learn how to read and be friends with members of your own gender and species. After five years on Princess Probation, you may reapply to seek Queen of the Kingdom status and your freedom from this court. We appeal to you as well, to please record these new adventures and your struggle shedding one life as a child and becoming a grown up woman. Girls and the grown women in their lives everywhere will benefit from your film, as will your salty smelling friends. Cinderella – We think you need to forget being some bored Prince’s flavor of the week. Maybe that Fairy Godmother of yours could help you into something more than a ballgown, and blip you into an Internship. You are creative, pretty, and young. Maybe a Hip Artist, or a Fashion Designer? Either way, We sentence you to school. You can stay in the dorms (which means no more evil stepmother!) and nobody will care if you talk to your little mice. Your roommate will be another Disney girl, who could teach you a thing or to, Ms. Kim Possible. You will also be sentenced to writing a book about your new adventures that will be made into a movie – your new movie on the subject of , as Oprah would say, “Your next chapter.”Aurora -(zzzzz) What? OH! Hello. Sleeping Beauty! After your experiences with Maleficent, Poison, and Dragons, we sentence you to turn Wiccan, start wearing lots of black, and try doing performance art at the local community college. That is how boring people make themselves interesting, …As for you Disney: We sentence you to a course in bravery. WE demand you not shirk away from the issue of movies that might be associated with GIRLS. You will be unallowed to merely focus on your line of movies labeled for boys (because we are quite sure you will screw that up too!). We command that you make good movies for all children and let both girls and boys play the leads.Judge Jane: These verdicts may seem harsh but I believe the jury has done their best to dole out punishments that will result in an overall increased interestingness in these princesses and ultimately prepare them to be better Queens. I would like to thank the bailiffs and courtroom reporters. And the janitor in advance for cleaning up that sparkly mess on the defenses side. As for you princesses, we will be watching you…Disney or no Disney… to see just how you change or whether you do indeed prefer imprisonment. Court is adjourned, bailiff get me a cappuccino and a cookie.

Wicked:Wicked:Ladies, Do not rid the world of Princess, but demand MORE of them. Yes! I can wear a pink dress and kick ass all the way. Yes I can be married but still make my own choices about my life. I can also never be married and be none the less a woman for it. I could be a Princess, Wife, Mother, Queen and/or still be more than all of those combined. Do not box ourselves OR our Princes into boxes, demands, or roles that don’t suit either of us.Ladies, Do not rid the world of Princess, but demand MORE of them. Yes! I can wear a pink dress and kick ass all the way. Yes I can be married but still make my own choices about my life. I can also never be married and be none the less a woman for it. I could be a Princess, Wife, Mother, Queen and/or still be more than all of those combined. Do not box ourselves OR our Princes into boxes, demands, or roles that don’t suit either of us.Lumi: Instead, let us all embrace some new things; new ways, attitudes, outfits, and roles. I for one ,am holding out for a a sisterhood of princesses movie! One where smart savvy girls work together perhaps the Twelve Dancing ones?

Final disclaimer:This blog has been written with the best of intentions and hope for an open dialogue on the perception of woman and girls in the media, by your Aunties Wicked and Lumi. We would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, or recriminations!Contact The Aunties : 

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