Wake Up and Face the Porn!
- AuntieWicked
- Jun 16, 2011
- 9 min read
Wake Up and Face the Porn!
a gentle nudge, by: Aunt Lumi
Causal arguments are dangerous and often rife with complication. Lumi finds this to be true of life and of most of the research and discussion around the effects of porn. As always, the Kinsey rule applies: People have been doing, are doing, and always will be doing AND thinking far stranger things than we(society) considers the norm and those things no matter how frequently practiced or thought about, will rarely be discussed in public. The repression of sexuality and discussion of sex practices has been a heated debate FOREVER. Court statements like “seduced by cupidity” let you know that the accusations and fear spin cycle surrounding ANYTHING with sexual content is nothing new to the stage.
The reason our children need sex education for instance ? Many of use can’t bare to discuss the basics of sexual organs and acts with our own children. And even god knows how hard it is to find materials actually MADE for children on the subject. Did lumi just put children in her introduction paragraph about porn? You betcha. Because it is time,to very early, get this crux out of the cane. There is no doubt about it, this Auntie is fully aware that sexually explicit materials should be kept for those who are old enough to understand their contents and mature enough to discuss any disturbances they may cause(watch out folks cause none of us may be mature enough for that it seems).
Porn is not for children, to be around children, or be exposed to children. LET us be clear on that. The whipping cane of, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN” – need not apply here. People who neglect their children or abuse them by exposing them to traumatizing images or experiences are just bad people. They are however a type, and with or without porn people find ways to do the awful to children.
Now, the next bear trap isPORN IS BAD FOR WOMEN. Again, I warn the little auntlings to forever and always be suspicious of blanket arguments especially those covering entire races, genders, or sexualities. Statement with caveats are much more trustworthy and worth consideration. Porn, can be bad for women, in that it seems, to frequently represent a singularly masculine fantasy of feminine submission. Porn often portrays women experiencing things that are socially considered degrading and to which many women in my peer group would not consider even remotely a turn-on. Shocking though it is, neither Wicked or I prefer to have cum shot in our face. But then is the problem separating fantasy from reality?
If that is the problem porn can go onto the shelf with video games, rap music, and comic books. Many people, in many walks of life, with many interests, fall down a slippery slope of losing themselves into fantasy lands and not being able to separate it from truth. True, that ye larper is not going to go around smearing hyper fantasized versions of female submission onto the commuter club and so porn is of greater concern but then is it the fact that it’s sexually explicit material that is the problem, or is it something else? Is it about the sort of perspective that is shown and how narrow minded the vision is? Then we are in bed with Cosmo and Glamor magazine. “The fantasy girl”, the one type, the skinny, the blonde weave; all fantasies that many women are killing themselves to attain. Is there anything wrong with fantasy girl? Lumi argues definitively not . I don’t want to ban blonde magazine women and girls, what I want is greater variety. So it seems then it would make sense that if the true problem with porn is the sexual point of view it is representing?
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If that is the case, then the solution is for a lot more about needing to make a lot more porn that represents a wider variety of sexual points of view. But wait? Why is it that the blonde girl of Cosmo and the boob job twins of porn are so prevalent? That is the scary and shocking part we don’t want to examine. Cosmo shows us what we want to read and what we will buy. As does Porn. Porn is what we have ordered. Porn is the ,not so politically correct, truth about our innermost desires or, in some cases, even our fears. Before we even hope to make more types of porn, for everyone, from a wider scope; we need to make sure there is a wider scope. What if the problem is not porn is raising your children ? What if the problem is your children are being raised with terrible views about women, relationships, sex in general? Traditions that teach ideas like women need to submit their entire life for the sake of others/family/love are not a far cry from the woman who will bend over and take it in the ass. This is the symbolic and more well oiled version of the same philosophical clap trap we are STILL selling in our American values. Do not be sooo shocked that some women feel like its not any sort worse to work in porn or the sex industry than to take the average every day treatment of women in the rest of the world. In fact, they get paid for many things that we ladies put up with in our unpaid regular life relationships. But its different cause we do it for the amorphous LOVE right? Women are always allowed to do all kinds of insane things so long as it is for sacrifice and LOVE. We burn all sorts of women who dare say, “I am doing this for me.”
Here are a few such women, this video actually inspired Lumi’s entire blog so please take a few minutes to hear them out:
Remember, when we burn porn we burn a TON of women who people that field and without porn? I am sure we all imagine that they would all become nurses or something? The next terror cannon of wake up that lumi has for you is this: Some women do not want to be nurses. Some women would prefer a job in the sex industry. Many of them would go on to stripping or call-girling it or invent some new fantastic entrepreneurial scheme to cash in on the ancient idiom: sex sells. To rid yourselves of porn would only push the whole discussion farther underground. This porn all-up-in-your-face moment is an amazing time. To see, in extremely vivid moving color, the sexual mores of a people, played out is a phenomenal opportunity both to understand and appreciate them, and where needed update and cultivate them. Lumi also thinks it is also very interesting that men are left out of the conversations of woah about porn? Apparently we don’t care that they are there? What does that say of our views on men? No one says oh POOR MEN they are being used in PORN? Perhaps its because of their physical sexual positioning and aura of dominance in the films? Lumi is also guessing that if society wasn’t so aghast at women and sex AT ALL that we wouldn’t be wringing so many tears over women in the industry. For certain there are women and men that want to get out but that is true of any job and doubly so for many high risk jobs. If activists want to do something about porn, this auntie wishes they would focus on offering college/highschool classes to people in the sex industry, getting them insurances, working on health clinics, setting up programs that help sex industry workers continue to have positive relationships with family and or friends or most simply aiding in the campaign for safe sex porn. Else? we end up, this lumi feels, with more war on drugs stupidness. We attack drugs. People just make new onez like “Bath Salts” often so much worse than what we cracked down on in the first place. Porn is an outlet for alot of pent up thoughts, feelings, and desires. If we are concerned about what those thoughts feelings and desires are then we should examine the source rather than shooting the messenger.
As to extreme porn – like extreme music or games it will be there. Whether u can see it or not. Here is a chart:
It’s a bell curve(this link is not to the source of the graph because that site is full of worms!) Everything, lumi has found, falls into it. That is when things are all well good and healthy. Extreme porn is a voice. It is what some people think about, it is some people’s view on sex, and some people want to see it. Those people would be represented on the left of the chart of NORMAL DISTRIBUTION, meaning to have this type of variance in anything, including sex, is NORMAL. If you don’t like extreme porn being around don’t buy it or watch it. Be a part of fleshing out the middle norm of sexual desire or maybe you will pioneer the market for Puritan Porn, they are over there on the right of our bell curve of sexual fantasy desire. We can make porn a much healthier representation of sexuality. We can work to ensure alternative employments are available. We can help with safety and security for those who dare to be employed acting out our sexual desires. All of this is possible but banning PORN? Its pure Houdini antics.
To scream about the online porn being the creator of patriarchal thoughts in sexuality is also so much a magic trick, and one serves to insult all of our intelligence. Men have been ass fucking and binding girls since long before even the Marquis De Sade. To bind, to conquer, or even to degrade a woman during sexual intercourse has long been a tradition. This fact doesn’t make it right but it does in some way prove that our trouble with porn is not that its creating a culture but that it celebrates one that has been in existence for a long time. Furthermore nudey movies have been around for longer than u think…here is one from 1906.
You may think that oh well this wasn’t PORN but many at the time felt it was even the creator Johann Schwarzer, according to Europa Film Treasures, warned that women and children should not see his films! Films from the same era and in the same style were policed and protested against, some even destroyed, by crusaders, who felt these movies were tearing at the moral fabric. Sounds suspiciously familiar.
I find “Verboten” very interesting because images of multiple women playing flirtatiously naked and skittering off with a seemingly angry but also playful man? Still controversial today and we worry so much over these new and dangerous ideas, when perhaps at least to Europe it’s all the same old garter…or lack there of.
I say all this having been a young woman who experienced ALOT of what one would call sexually degrading circumstances. Did i get myself into them? Most definitely. Did porn drive these menz views on sex and me? Maybe it did…but to be sure they sought porn that validated their own thoughts and desires. If i could have changed something about that young woman facing the wild world of sex? This Lumi thinks that, if she had seen the porns she would have prolly known what was going and had a better voice about it. Lumi also wished, that her mother had been empowered, by our society, to arm her fully for the realities of the sex experience of young liberated women. We are sexually liberated indeed but are we not still very Pollyanna about it? Everything is not my little pony sex nor has it ever been.
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To understand and have confidence in your own sexual desires and voice, to be given permission to not to please someone when it conflicts with your own desires, these are the far greater weapon against and damage porn may be doing. And most amazingly, to empower women to find out what they DO LIKE and know it as ardently as men? Now that would be progress worth fighting for.
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And there you have it Auntlings, a blog about porn for you by your sparkling auntie Lumi. And now for the secret, before doing this blog, actually the inspiration for this blog was a conversation with Wicked in which Lumi was complaining about it and all it’s ill effects on life. There is a wonderful thing about researching, ladies and gents, and that is, if you do it right, you never know what will come of it. Hee-hee COME of it;P
Let us know your thoughts and feelings on porn or anything about sex or anything else! We always want to hear from you and we are super easy to get in touch with!
like us on facebook and then friend lumi there
email us at: a_illumination@hotmail.com or the2aunties@gmail.com
And as always, Lumi’s extras:It is being said that men are learning about sex from porn and that ladies and gents is whose problem?The first part of this article reprinted from 2007 says alot about the futility of fighting pornrabbitwrite did a pretty incredible project on women and porn earlier this year – check it out!we can’t talk about women and sex and porn without giving a link to cosmo right?excellent article on “porn for women”his friend gave him a visit to a porn setcameron diaz comment on pornlady Gaga writes about what she knows – one of these things is porninteresting thoughts on porn and violence in the mediahow to stop looking at porn so muchthe quirky queer quaker talks about porneven oprah has some helpful information on women enjoying sexual media!and Lumi even watched this documentary so it must be good!
Keep checking back very very soon Wicked will be wowing you with something loverly and introducing a new friend!
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