The Boys of Our Lives : The Writer

These are the Boys of Our Lives: These are the Boys of Our Lives: 

THE WRITERTHE WRITER

by: Illumi and A. Wicked!

(2 aunties for the price of 1)

Okay everyone who knows a chick stereotype raise your hand! Yes you can use both! Exactly – dumb blondes, bombshells, girl-next-door, fat-girls, witches, bitches, hags, and so so many more. Each one of these little terrors has it’s mean ugly side but it also – like fairy tales for children – holds within some broad spectrum truths. Vague but helpful guiding information for recognizing types of people and or navigating certain persons who may be trying to get in your pants. And uhm side note why are all these women’s magazines giving all these tips on how to get a man in your pants? Like isn’t the problem keeping them out and or only letting them in at the right times under the right conditions? 

 Okay back to the point – the beware of girl stereotypes can be helpful to men in being warned of disaster and 

 Well, Illumi thinks that it’s high time girls had this same sort of registry…We need to name/flesh out and fearlessly use a codification of the typical ways in which a boy tries to be all in your face and skirt. So this will be the beginning of a very long series of articles that talk about those sands through the hourglass that are boys/men who have brought themselves into my little life bearing some stamps – stamps that become easily identifiable – once examined. 

 Now – don’t start thinking this is Bitch magazine or some such other like man hating refuge because despite everything I am an overly man loving little Auntie…this article aims to educate the young girl well and myself into having a little afore knowledge about men and their doings especially in the direction of a girl! So the very first boy-man incarnation we will meet is The Writer. He is deep. He comes in many colors, shapes, and sizes. He notices things – seemingly random but usually calculated wonderful things about a room – your hair – or something else just fantastically never thought of…He dresses either very very well compared to his peers or really really horribly – like hobo…He is no health fanatic – he spends a lot of time in public places with a notebook – a computer – whatever. He may or may not have friends but your relationship with him will prolly be kind of a separate world from whatever that is. .So now let’s break it down – the good, the whatever, and the potentially ugly.

The Good:The Good:

This guy will say things to you that you have always wanted to hear. Conversations, meals, together time will be fascinating. IF he is a bad dresser it still won’t be boringly bad. His creative pursuits will probably inspire you to pay more attention to your own. You can even spend time in public together with your own separate notebooks and computers.

The Whatever:The Whatever:

He will probably like his writing more than yours. He will probably however have low self esteem – which means you spend a good bit of time reassuring. He prolly does not sleep much. If your big into family and loud and kids and blah blah – well he is going to need help getting to that place.

The potentially ugly:

You may end up being competition both in writing and in time. Like you may start writing stuff that is good and that would be hard and well your cuteness may become a distraction from the 24/7 occupation of being an intense writer. This leads us to the worst possible part – the intensity – well it’s hot right? At first…but sometimes they CAN’T turn it off so there are just lots of intense intense hours to pass…and intensity is closely related to ANGER which is related to outbursts..and those are not hot or fun or anything like it…what to do? The first time a dude – even a writer dude gets weird like in any scary way – just bail…it’s not going to get better…this drama was written before you ever entered the picture…

Conclusion:

The writer stereotype in movies and books rarely deals with him as a potential boyfriend…or a boyfriend at all…there’s prolly a reason for that…it’s a tough one…I am sure there are lovely stable writers out there who have great boundaries and respect for others and all that…I think they are more like journalists or something? Just remember – what is sexy today could be very very annoying tomorrow…

Okay so this is going to be fun – I asked Auntie wicked to write to me about her experiences and words regarding the WRITER – and it turned out like a little blind experiment – because she had not seen what I wrote and wrote this – I am going to use it all cause it’s so awesome…

AUNTIE WICKED ON:

The Writer

Ah! The man of words. He artfully crafts phrases into clever chains, he is the WEAKNESS of almost any one who loves to chat, talk, or intellectualize. The writers I’ve known are the quiet ones (or at least seem so at first). Expressive eyes, timing of romantically tinged phrases that tug and draw you in like the first phrase on the first page of a book previously entirely unknown to you. These are the boys that often delight in being lead, you kiss first, you making the decisions as life unfolds like a story before them. I think nearly every girl has the fantasy of being a Muse to some artiste, and any girl who’s dated a writer has very likely been tempted by the possibility of being immortalized by this brilliant, tortured, INTELLIGENT and sensitive soul.The Writer, unlike the Rock Star, is a man who lives in a fringe like setting. He may or may not have friends, but for the most part they are distant, and he spends alot of time absorbed alone in the brilliance of his thoughts. Often-times, because of their romance with words and knowledge of scene setting, the honeymoon with a writer-boy can be intense and instantly heart catching. Like El Zorro they sweep in with cape flowing and entrance even the most even tempered of girls to involvement. The Writer is brooding, complicated, elusive emotionally for they are PULLED toward the glorious fate like a fish on God’s Hook! Being the significant other after your grace period is over can often be a complex and emotionally humiliating time. Once the romance is over, The Writer will frequently wax poetic about previous loves, all of whom are written and spoke of like a soft, romantic summer storm, who’s lips are impossibly lush, and bodies indefinitely more perfect than yours. Often, I don’t believe the writer is attempting to disgrace in his Romantic-Convolutions of the past, however even for the most stoic girl, it can be irritating at best, and devastating at worst to hear the romantic poetry being diverted entirely to someone else.Much like the Rock Star, Writers ambitions frequently take them well off the ‘beaten’ path, and they lack things like pesky Jobs and Clean Cloths in pursuit of the higher art. This often comes as a later ‘discovery’ when they take you to a darkened house, make sweet 3 minute love to you, and in the morning, you find yourself face to face with a Mother, possibly clothed in her robe. Writers often unintentionally (or not) need a devoted, stable, and silent force in their lives who are capable of their mis-fit into the doldrums of normalcy. A writer will alternately be the cause of immense drama (freedom of speech), or intense loyalty (when you are fighting) due to their ‘way with words’ (see The Politician), and you must be like kelp in the waves with every turn.I have immense admiration for writers and their art, my favorite moments with former Writer-beaus where often waking to find them hunched in front of their computers, tippy-typing away with the world outside them blocked completely out. Needless to say, you will have alot of time for those Mani-Pedis and Dates with Friends (until of course the Zombie comes too, and drunk on wine, comes to find and steal you away jealously to some isolated woodsy spot, and read you a poem from a napkin he scribbled down a few hours after he realized you were gone).In conclusion, the writer is delicious romantic and child like at times, and needy and isolatory at others. To keep up with him you will have to be mouldable but strong, and if you have any star-like habits of your own, make sure to keep them on the down low, as Mr. Writer, no matter what he says, is the Star of the Show.Auntie illumi’s can’t let go of an article bonus cookies:Here’s a painting of a writer type – seems they have been around just forever – this is from 1907!

olga’s gallery – valentin serov “portrait of a writer”

Here are other people talking about of men and writers and one woman who admits being quite the writer stereotype herself:alcoholic writer stereotypewriters remorsewriter stereotypelousy lover writersteenagewritertips for dating writers:date a writerfunny about writers

cute little girl with pink hair is from: blogs.dalton.org/vogelsang/2009/02/17/cindy-stories-under-way/oh and call us – just kidding we don’t use the phone but write us k? a_illumination@hotmail.com and leave us comments it gives us something to talk about…and makes us feel important…thanks:)

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